Wednesday, June 24, 2015

One Month Into Retirement

I've been retired for one month, and while additional time may bring different perspectives, I am thoroughly enjoying my new life! That tells me a couple of things:

1) It was time. Retired friends had always said to me, "You'll know when it's time." And I did!

2) The ease with which I've been able to let go has surprised me. A retired colleague attending my retirement party cautioned me that not only would the church family grieve, but I would especially grieve. "One day you're this important figure in all these people's lives, and the next day you wake up and you're a nobody," he said. It takes a while for a pastor to work though that transition. Well, maybe; but I haven't felt that way yet! (I certainly went through some grieving in the months following my announcement, and perhaps that anticipatory grief prepared the way for how I feel now.)

All this confirms for me a truth I have always felt deep in my soul — that despite my extended tenure there, I never thought of it as my church. People often called it, "your church," and I probably even called it, "my church" from time to time, but I never felt possessive; I never felt it really was mine. So, while I wish the best for "my people" that I've left behind, I do not in the least feel a need to keep my fingers in the pot, nor am I threatened by the inevitable changes that will come.

It's Jesus' church, and He'll take care of it and me just fine.

Thursday, June 04, 2015

Early Post-Retirement Thoughts

A friend encouraged me to enlarge on some comments I made to the congregation at our retirement celebration.

Some have asked — as they saw the books in my office grow fewer and fewer — if it was a hard process for me to clean out my office. While I had a few sad moments, I found it all surprisingly enjoyable. Almost immediately after announcing my retirement plans last November, I began to cull out books that I intended to give away, throw away, or sell. That only took a few days, because even though you accumulate lots of books, you only need a few. (A lesson I had learned years ago, during a building program in which I had to store nearly all my books for almost a year. I thought it would be unbearable, but I made it through the year with just one bookcase and, as a result, ended up giving away about half of my collection. From that point on, I deliberately limited the book space in my office, giving away, selling, or throwing away an old book before adding a new one.)

Next, I turned to cleaning out my file cabinet. Because I had been collecting materials since my high school days, I assumed this would be a weeks-long process, but it took perhaps an afternoon and a half as I tossed file after file into the recycling bin (finally they would be put to good use!) and came across the occasional serendipitous find (like my candidating sermon from 1978 that I re-preached in my final service at the church).

There was for me something cleansing about getting rid of all these old files that I no longer needed (and probably, for the most part, never did) and those old books that had outlived their usefulness. And then it dawned on me why this whole process had not been that difficult: ministry is not about books and files and plaques on the wall, it's about people. I used books, but I don't love my books. Like tools, I used some of those files, but I never cherished them. Rather, as I told our folks that Sunday afternoon, "It's you I love, and it's you I will miss."

Wednesday, June 03, 2015

The End of the Term!

After 36 1/2 years at the same church and 42 years in pastoral ministry, I have retired. And I must say I am enjoying it! I know that some believe pastors should never retire, but I was ready. I no longer have the energy to cheer-lead the growth and change that need to come, and I didn't want to be the one about whom people said, "Too bad he didn't leave a year or two sooner!" 

When I was younger I worried about burning out; now I discover that I have worn out! I am sure, after a bit of R & R, that I will do something — fill pulpits, work as an interim, maybe push carts at Walmart (!) — one needs a reason to get up in the morning. But, for now, I am quite content to putter around our home and cottage and wake up in the morning with no particular place to go.

I am so grateful to our people who made my retirement celebration such a joy — as they have made my ministry a joy for so many years. Their cards and notes made us laugh and cry and reminded me that we touched lives in ways we had never imagined.

But now it's time for the next stage of God's great plan for us. This term — as long as wonderful as it has been — is over, and a new term begins. As one of my colleagues reminded me recently, I had said I wanted to finish well — to complete my ministry here, still loving Jesus and my wife. That I have done! But, God willing, I still have some years left in this world, and I want to finish those just as well.

So the adventure begins ....

On my final Sunday at the church, I gave our people a collection of answers to questions (about theology, the Bible, life) they had asked me over the years. Here's the last answer in that collection:

If you could go back and talk to your 26-year old self (when you began in pastoral ministry), what would you tell him? 
I’d tell him that life and ministry are going to be incredibly more difficult than he could ever imagine — that the essence of ministry is suffering — but to relax and enjoy the ride, because God is incredibly more gracious and patient than he could possibly believe. I’d tell him to exchange his fear for faith and his self-reliance for humility — to trust in God’s power and plan. I’d tell him not to be so dependent on success nor discouraged by failures, because the one is a fleeting vapor and the other a constant companion, and above both stand the sovereign purposes of God that none of us will fully figure out in our lifetimes. I’d tell him to rest every day on God’s incredible grace.
I’d tell him not to work so hard (even though I know he wouldn’t listen) and to slow down and enjoy God’s good earth — to plant a tree and watch it grow (which, fortunately, he would manage to do on many occasions) — and to enjoy God’s good people who will be all around him, loving him and cheering him on. (And I’d tell him to pay less attention to those who don’t!) I’d tell him to trust his gut more and not worry so much about what others think — to be the person and pastor God had made rather than trying to be a clone of someone else or someone else’s vision of what a husband/father/pastor should be. I’d tell him to get out of the office and into the community (which I think he would do reasonably well) so non-church members could see that a pastor is actually a fairly normal person. 
I’d also tell him that during the span of his ministerial career, dozens of Christian “fads” (“models” is probably a kinder word) will cross his path — relational theology, WWJD, Body Life, Evangelism Explosion, lifestyle evangelism, Promise Keepers, spiritual warfare, second coming fever, church growth, small groups, Purpose Driven Church, spiritual disciplines, Sonship ministry, the worship wars, the culture wars — to name a few. I’d tell him to take whatever good he can from any of these but to see none of them as the answer. They will pass, and the next generation will introduce its own suite of programs, but the Word of God transcends fads and programs and generations; and so more than anything else, he needs to major on the Word. I’d tell him (as Dick Lucas would put it) to “hold the line." 

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Tom Ascol has served as a pastor for 35 years, the past 28 with the same congregation. In a recent blog post he recounted what he has learned. While I would probably use slightly different words, I found myself nodding in agreement over most of his points:
Thirty-five years ago this month I began serving my first church as pastor. The Rock Prairie Baptist Church in College Station, Texas took a major risk on a senior Texas A&M student by issuing me a call to be their pastor. It was my happy privilege to serve them for nearly two years before being called to the Spring Valley Baptist Church in Dallas. I am currently in my twenty-eighth year of serving Grace Baptist Church in Cape Coral, Florida.
As I recently reflected on the last thirty-five years I wrote down some lessons learned and convictions I’ve come to or continued to hold. Here are thirty-five of them.
    1. Long-term perspective helps you to endure and to think wisely about immediate problems.
    2. The kingdom of God does not—and will not—skip a beat when I am sidelined.
    3. The church is more important than I thought when I started.
    4. Some of my words and actions to which I am most oblivious can be hurtful to people.
    5. Pastoral ministry is indeed, as John Newton puts it, “a bitter full of sweet” and “a sorrow full of joy.”
    6. Christians are the greatest people in the world.
    7. Christians are capable of the most wicked actions in the world.
    8. My greatest challenge at the beginning of my ministry continues to be dealing with my own heart.
    9. An excellent wife is the greatest earthly gift I have, and she is more excellent than I ever could have imagined.
    10. True friends are rare and invaluable.
    11. Some of the most outwardly religious people can be the biggest hypocrites.
    12. It is nearly impossible for a man who marries poorly to make it in the ministry.
    13. Some of the most humble, unassuming saints provide the greatest encouragement to pastors.
    14. Some of the most effective pastoral ministry I have ever had has come through my presence more than my words.
    15. Some words I have spoken incidentally have ministered God’s grace more powerfully than others over which I labored and prepared for hours.
    16. Preaching really is a divinely ordained, foolish activity.
    17. Every conversion to Christ is a miracle of grace involving intricate acts and provisions that have been divinely orchestrated.
    18. Having the right books is far more important than have many books.
    19. God’s grace has shined brightest through the suffering of His people.
    20. Justification by faith is a bottomless well of grace.
    21. The complete humanity and spotless righteousness of Jesus has become more amazing to me.
    22. There is no easy way to do a hard task and ministry is full of hard tasks.
    23. The propitiatory work of Jesus on the cross amazes me more and more.
    24. The relationship of God’s law to His gospel has implications for every biblical doctrine.
    25. Some of the greatest pastors are men who live, serve and die in relative obscurity.
    26. Incremental progress is real progress and should not be dismissed.
    27. God is far more patient than I could have ever imagined.
    28. Forgiveness is one of the sweetest graces both in its giving and receiving.
    29. Though I’ve stayed in one place a long time, I have served at least 4 different churches during that time and my people have had at least that many different pastors in the same man.
    30. Wherever you see a long pastorate you can be sure there is an abundance of grace in the congregation.
    31. Godly widows and widowers are worthy heroes.
    32. The advance of the gospel and the spread of God’s kingdom is a testimony to power of His grace.
    33. Raising children is one of the greatest privileges and challenges in human experience.
    34. Having adult children is a greater joy and blessing than I ever imagined it would be.
    35. Grandchildren rock!
Well said!
http://tomascol.com/35-lessons-from-35-years-as-a-pastor/

Monday, April 29, 2013

Remembering Sermons

Adrian Reynolds has this great comment on whether or not it's important that people remember my sermons:

I've just spent a wonderful hour with a dear Australian brother who has given his lifetime to preaching the gospel and teaching others to do so (no name dropping here!). He made an observation, almost in passing, that really grabbed my attention. "It doesn't matter", he said, "if people don't remember your sermons. Preaching is about making actions instinctive, not giving you more head knowledge." He went on to say that he's a good reader, but doesn't remember being taught to read. He can play the piano but remembers very little about his tuition. He knows how to ride a bike, but can't recall the moment when the stabilisers were taken off.
How true and how liberating! We are tempted, I would suggest, to measure our ministry in terms of how much people can remember of it. And when people say to us "I remember your three points" we get a inward glow. But in fact, the measure of God's word preached is whether people change and if spiritual habits that were unnatural become the norm, become instinctive. We need to pray that our preaching would be effective and not so much that it would be memorable
It doesn't matter if people don't remember your sermons. 

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Long-Term from a Business Viewpoint

While not all of this will apply to the pastorate, I thought this note from the Harvard Business Review blogs was suggestive of why it's worth it to stay in one place for a while:


Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Angry Pastors

From Dan Bouchelle at "Confessions of a Former Preacher:"
While I don’t fully understand my anger, here is my current best shot at explaining it. I am angry because I couldn’t force the church to live up to my image of what it should be even when they implemented most of the changes I wanted. I am angry because I thought I had a contract with God: if I did ministry the right way, he would make me feel successful and fulfilled. I am angry because I could not shake the feeling of failure when I was doing everything I knew to do and I could not get the church to post the measurables I needed to validate my ministry. I am angry because the church I was building was too much a figment of my imagination detached from sustainable reality. I loved the people in my church and I enjoyed ministry with them. But, as a congregation—which is an abstraction in many ways—I could not reconcile what was with what should be. I am angry because other preachers who used what I thought were inferior approaches to serve inferior visions saw their churches grow while mine was plateaued or declining. I am angry because I could not solve the problem of church, as if churches are problems to be solved instead of people to be loved and developed. I am angry because I looked to my ministry for self-validation instead of modeling self-denial. I am angry because I wasn’t willing to obey what I heard God calling me to do and trust the outcomes to him instead of expecting something specific in return.
No wonder I have wanted to deny my anger. It is ugly. But there it is. Why say it out loud? Why reveal this online? Am I now an exhibitionist? Am I trying to get attention in some sick way? Perhaps. I hope not. I just think it needs to be said. I think those of us who have gotten seduced into being career minded, if only in part, even when we wouldn’t admit it to God or ourselves, need to repent and fess up. I think we need to stop blaming the church for our immature emotional issues. The church does not need to face enemies within when it has a huge challenge without.  I also want to warn other preachers to avoid a path that can lead to their undoing. Watch your expectations. We are called to a cross, not a crown. We are called to serve the Lord through the church. The church isn’t here to take care of our emotional needs.
So you are angry? Well, you might want to do something about that. That road goes to a bad place.
http://danbouchelle.blogspot.com/2012/05/so-you-are-angry.html